When you respond to a noise complaint of two girls “playing the penis game,” you find Jill Kassidy and Kiara Cole in Room 32C butt-naked and belting out profanities. You know you should issue them a citations and walk away, but they’re inviting you in, and you have a distinct lack of willpower. You have two options: Walk away. Or get your dick wet. Well, you might as well turn over your badge now.